The following is an article from guest author Eve Pearce.

There have been over eight-thousand different Spider Man toys and action figures since the character first appeared in a comic book in 1962 and countless other items of merchandise produced, including Spider Man nail polish and a poncho, so it will come as no surprise to Spidey fans that a Hasbro Motorised Web Shooting Spider Man has been released to tie in with the latest movie The Amazing Spider Man. This thirteen-inch figure features two motorised web-slingers, which make realistic web shooting sounds when operated and are controlled by pressing buttons on Spider Man’s back. The toy has received praise from a wide range of different publications, including PC Magazine and Time to Play, and is set to be a big seller this Christmas.

What about the Spider Man figures that fell short of the mark though? For every figure that adults and children alike have loved, there has been one that has been wilfully obscure to the point where the only reason that anybody liked it was because it had novelty value on account of being such a bizarre idea for a toy. Here are some of the worst Spider Man-based items that were ever created.

Pink Scooter

Perhaps the strongest contender for the title of worst ever Spider Man product is Marx Toys’ Amazing Spider Man Scooter with Friction Drive. For some unknown reason, Marx decided to design a model of Spider Man sitting on a pink, rather effeminate-looking scooter. Why they did this is a total mystery, as he almost certainly never rode one in any of the comics. The image on the front of the box shows Spidey zooming along on his scooter with fire coming out of the exhaust pipe and an ultra-serious expression on his face, as if he is a man on a mission, which is hilarious given the colour of his vehicle and the fact that it looks as if it was designed with a six-year-old girl in mind. Maybe Peter Parker was getting in touch with his feminine side at the time when this model was created or perhaps it was the last scooter left in the shop, his web shooter had momentarily stopped working and he needed to get somewhere in a hurry.

Image source: http://www.spidermancollector.net

Designed by a Chinese company who may or may not have been given permission to use the Spider Man name and logo, the Spider Man Wind Up Panda is another truly bizarre and terrible creation. It is a model of a panda wearing a Spider Man costume that walks along the table when wound up. Quite where the designers got the idea for this one from remains unknown. Worse still, it doesn’t even look remotely like a panda. It looks far more like a mouse but doesn’t actually look like anything, apart from a complete abomination that is. This model should never have got past the idea stage and possibly shouldn’t have even made it to that point.

Radical Dude Spider Man

Another Spider Man figure that is definitely up there with the worst of them is Toy Biz’s Adventure Hero Skateboard Spider Man. This model depicts Spider Man wearing shorts and a bright yellow sleeveless t-shirt and riding a rocket powered skateboard. Toy Biz appear to have tried very hard to make it seem ‘cool’ but have fallen massively short of the mark. Any scenario where a superhero rides a skateboard or surfboard or goes around saying ‘cowabunga’ and ‘radical’ (which I am sure this figure would if it could speak) is undoubtedly naff in the extreme.

Image source: http://figure-archive.net

Safari Spider Man

Random as some of the other figures mentioned so far might be, the prize for most bizarre and pointless Spider Man model goes to Toy Biz’s Safari Spider Man, which sees Spider Man dressed up like Indiana Jones and comes complete with what is supposedly a camera so that he can film the wildlife but looks more like some kind of weird, misshapen ray gun. Whilst it is doubtful that there was ever a single Spider Man comic where Spidey had to go on safari and film the animals, you have to admire Toy Biz’s inventiveness. When it comes to strange, uncalled for Spider Man models, they have definitely taken poll position with this one.

Image source: http://mockingwords.blogspot.com

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